Edward's POV of Bella's Cliff Dive
by frostedsaphire
Summary: What if Rosalie's call never reaches Edward? Edward gets a phone call from Alice, who has just had a vision of Bella killing herself cliff jumping. To save her life, Edward returns to Forks. But how will he cope when he realizes he has left more of the dangers of his world with Bella when he left?
1. Phone Call

"**Love of mine, some day you will die  
But I'll be close behind  
I'll follow you into the dark  
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white  
Just our hands clasped so tight  
Waiting for the hint of a spark**

**If Heaven and Hell decide**  
**That they both are satisfied**  
**Illuminate the "No"'s on their vacancy signs**  
**If there's no one beside you**  
**When your soul embarks**  
**Then I'll follow you into the dark"**

**-Death Cab For Cutie**

**Chapter 1 **

**Phone Call**

Ring! Ring! The phone shrilled.

_What _is _it, Rosalie?_ I thought. I didn't want to be disturbed. She knew that, and yet here I was, still vainly trying to ignore her attempts to get my attention from the umpteenth time in the past half hour. It could be something important, but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything anymore, not after…her.

Bella. I exhaled with the thought of her name. It was such a heavenly, heady thing just to think the name. I knew her life must be better by now. My monster that had once dammed her to an eternity of night wouldn't ever haunt her again. I would not allow it. I would not allow myself to taste her sweet freesia scent caress the air, or see the seductive sight of her bedroom window. I would not allow myself to see her face, those brown chocolate eyes that were always spilling over with silent secrets. To watch the wind wisp her dark hair over the sinuous flow of her back, her neck. My every thought had been flooded with recollections of her since the moment I left. Why had I left?

Ever since I had forbidden myself from Forks, I was constantly thinking of reasons to go back to that rainy, dreary town once more. Just to check up on her. But I'd made her a promise, and after speaking the words that tore her soul and my being apart, she won't want me anymore anyways. I banished myself for the monster that I've become.

Ring! Ri-

"What, Rosalie?" I snarled without looking at the caller ID. "I've told you I don't want to be bother-

"Edward, Edward, it's Alice." Her voice was urgent. "I had a vision. She's going to jump off a cliff, Edward! I don't know what in the world she's thinking! She hits the ocean, and then my view just fuzzes out. There may be time to save her, but not much."

There could only be one her. The only girl in the world. I felt my body grow very cold.

"When?"

"At noon today South of La Push on the cliffs."

The phone was left to fall on the floor as-without thought-I flung myself out of the run-down shop's window. I landed soundlessly on the street pavement, and frantically searched for a decent car. I only knew one thing; I had to get to Forks _now_. Of course they were all beaters-I had chosen a very rundown part of Rio. All of them were probably almost slower than that decrepit truck she drove.

Bella… And just like that, I was flying down the street. I ran through alleyways in the city to be undetected, if anyone could see me if they tried. But, the sun was just rising, and I didn't want to cause a nuisance of myself. Not on this day. As soon as I got near the airport I started refining my appearance to go inside. I saw a fountain with the engravement, '_Where one's love is lost no cost for their beloved streams too high and so all other reasoning is nay._' How ironic.

I dove into the rippling water and tried to wash some of the grime from the last five or so months off my pale skin. It worked fairly well, and I was out of the water before the swirling dirt bubbles had time to reach the surface.

"M-may I help you?" The attendant asked in a voice that showed she was shocked to find me suddenly standing here.

Ignoring her appraising thoughts, I focused Bella's face in the forefront of my mind. I needed to have patience to get through this monotony of people.

"One ticket to Seattle, Washington." I tried to slow down my speed of speech so she could comprehend me. My voice seemed flat to me, but her heartbeat sped at the sound, making me think of another heartbeat. Despite my annoyance and impatience, I smiled a friendly smile. Humans seemed to cooperate more easily if there was no sense of urgency.

"Alright. Umm.. Name?"

I continued answering the mundane questions. Sometimes it amazed me how boring this world could be. After our two destinies collided, it's become simply unbearable. I felt dead, no pun intended. After being awakened, going back to my old ways was insufferable. I had never had much of a life, but living without living had been my focus for so long. It was hard to remember back then, sort of like with my faint human memories. She had become the point of focus of the entire universe, and when I left it was like ripping my soul out. That is not true, because I do not have a soul. But I would find the strength to leave again. For her soul. For her.

I was so impatient at this point I got through security that I was willing to threaten that I had a bomb and fly the plane to Seattle myself if it meant getting to her. I knew the air force would take me down if I tried. Damn.

Once I was on the plane I felt better. The flight attendants meandered about, and a girl's soccer team whispered and giggled like they were at a boy band concert. It seemed that the closer I got to _her_, the more alluring I became to humans. I spent the plane ride playing with my napkin and clenching and unclenching my hand to alleviate some of the intense impatience. When I saw her, I would restrain myself. She would not want to see me. She would not want me anymore.

"Please fasten your seat belts as we descend into Seattle, Washington." The crackly speakers announced overhead. Finally.

The minute the plane touched down I was out of my seat and through the plane door.


	2. Cliff Sighting

**"Not knowing how to think**

**I scream aloud, begin to sink**

**My legs and arms are broken down**

**With envy for the solid ground**

**I'm reaching for the life within me**

**How can one man stop his ending**

**I thought of just your face**

**Relaxed, and floated into space."**

**"Into the Ocean" -Blue October**

**Chapter 2**

**Cliff Sighting**

I stared at the insignificant rock. It had no purpose, but stepping over it would ruin the treaty my family had made with Ephriam Black all those years ago. I could see what they would do to me for this; both the Quileutes and my family. But _she _was over there, for whatever reason I couldn't fathom. So I lifted my foot and gently placed it on the moss covered ground over the stone.

It made no sound, but I felt immediately different, like I was breaking through a subtle boundary that had detached the Quileutes from the Cullens for so long. It was only subtle now because there were no more werewolves in La Push. It still reeked of werewolf from all those years ago. Ugh.

Only a second had passed, and then I was flitting through the trees again at such speeds that I smiled. I had not smiled in so long. The smile wasn't quite right, but when Bella and I met again-

No.

Anguish as I had never felt before ripped through my body, and I found myself at a standstill.

Of course I wouldn't be able to interact with her. I was here to save her, and then I _would_ save her from myself again. I'd made her a promise on that black day. Maybe thinking that keeping one promise might pardon the countless others I'd broken was ludicrous, but I hadn't broken it yet.

I started to run again. I had, however, not kept my promise to never return. But her life was in danger today; I wasn't going to let her die. I don't know what I would do if she didn't exist in this world, somewhere. As long as there was that fact that she was still alive today and better off without me. Someday she would die- I'd already considered this—and so I would follow close behind.

She wouldn't see me, anyways, but somehow she always found the exception to my promises. Always getting into trouble, just at the right time for my services. I felt my heart lift at the fact that maybe Bella would always need me here...

No.

Ah, again. Anguish flared and I beat it down before it could distract me from my course. I couldn't let my wild emotions control me. I'd already made my decision to save her but never let her see me again.

I was coming back to stop her from jumping off the cliff, whatever her reason, and the interfering I would commit would be done with the exception to my promise; keeping her safe. Later, she would probably just mistake all of this for a bad dream. She must have had plenty of those about me. She would not want me anymore, anyhow.

I rounded the edges of the cliffs that lined the peninsula, scanning a few miles ahead but seeing nothing. I began to get worried; soon I would hit La Push.

There was a flash of scarlet on a cliff about a half a mile out. My heart leaped, but it wasn't the rusted red of her truck. It was a crimson lock of hair. And then Victoria stepped out of the brush.

Victoria? I froze in shock; I thought I'd tracked her halfway to Brazil. But almost immediately after I was on a plane here, so she must have given me a false lead. Her eyes were staring through the trees, wearing a terrified expression. What was she looking at? What was she doing _here_ this close to Bella? A guttural growl escaped my throat. I never should have left.

Victoria's head snapped in my direction. Her expression shifted to fury and recognition lit her eyes. She glanced back through the trees, and threw herself off the cliff edge. _No! _Bella was going to be in the water soon, and I had very little time left. I doubted that she would listen to me if I tried to persuade her from committing suicide. Most likely I would scare her so badly she would fall off into the waters Victoria now guarded.

So, I followed her example, and propelled off of the hard cliff face. I could see through the churning water-her ruby hair was gliding underwater towards La Push-to the area where Bella was supposed to jump.

I bent myself midair to a perfect line, and as I sliced through the water I twisted so the current shot me forward.

The storm was ferocious; I was surprised at her bravery to jump in this dreadful weather. The water was colder than I, and my body had no trouble leveling to its temperature as I saw Bella walking to the edge of the monstrous cliff.

The rock face was vertical with an array of colors shooting up to the only girl I'd ever loved. She stood at the edge, her bare toes just hanging over the edge. Her face was a heavenly sight, with a face so perfect it was impossible that I'd even had her, let alone left her. Her soft amber eyes stared straight out over me. Those exquisite lips smiled, as if she was pleased by a thought. Her eyes closed as she stood smiling. Once they were uncovered I knew that she would jump. The turbulent currents seemed to be converging at the base of the cliff. I couldn't make it to her in time for her fated jump, but Victoria was in reach; I could keep the waters somewhat safe. I locked one of my arms around her neck, and the other around her waist, dragging her deeper and farther from Bella.

Further down it was darker, and the water became more alive, writhing and thrashing above us as we fought. Victoria tried to twist out of my headlock, and her other hand pried my grip off within a few seconds.

I had to get out of here now. Bella was about to hit the water any moment. For a second I rallied with myself, thinking of the pain the connection with the water would cause her. Knowing Bella, she would land in a position like a belly flop with arms and legs spread. But if I left Victoria I may not be able to stop the attack that would follow Bella's impact.

I locked onto Victoria's flailing foot with both hands and my feet propelled us up and away from Bella's landing spot. I looked up though the sheet of water speckled with rain. It was an eerie sight. Bella stood on the balls of her feet; her eyes open and alight with anticipation. Then, with surprising form, she raised her hands above her head and sprang from the cliff face.

The fall only lasted a few seconds, but they were the longest few I had ever lived. I heard a shriek of elation as she flew through all the colors of rock in the cliff face. Was she insane? Her damp hair billowed out from her flushed face. And with eyes wide, she cut through the icy water feet first.

I stopped swimming when this happened, quickly thinking of some way to get rid of Victoria when I realized she wasn't putting up any fight to get back to Bella. Her eyes were staring through the thin sheet of water separating us from the surface at the top of the cliff. She wore the same fear as when she stared through the trees before. I followed her gaze to see a boy flying from the cliff to the water below.

This was not a part of Alice's vision.

Alice was wrong.

Bella was going to be saved by this native boy. I had no clue how he eluded Alice's vision, but I was never more thankful for her to be wrong than I was at that moment. Bella was underneath the water in a flurry of bubbles as the large waves shoved her deeper below the stir. Her eyes were still open and shining, seeing things I would never know without her thoughts. How I yearned for them to see me!

Who was her savior? I realized that I did recognize him. This was Jacob Black, the boy who had danced with Bella at the prom last year. He looked strong and agile as he swam too quickly for a human down to Bella, all of his thoughts revolving around her. I knew it was impossible for _human_ eyes to see this far through the ocean salt, but as he wound his arm around her waist his eyes, as if feeling mine, connected. They grew wide at the sight of Victoria thrashing in my arms, and then flashed to my face.

_Edward Cullen?_ He thought, enraged.

I nodded, sharply motioning for him to take Bella to the surface. She was unconscious now. I could not stand the sight of his arm around her waist, and I didn't know how long I would be able to hold Victoria if he didn't get her air _now_.

Jacob's brow furrowed, but he nodded and tugged her up and out of the black water that was lighter that his expression.


	3. After the Storm

**"The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all."**

**Chapter 3 **

**After the Storm**

Her eyes bright with fear, Victoria used my moment of discourse to plant her feet on my thigh and kick away from me. Twisting in the water, I kept my gaze tracked on her, prepared to move between her and Bella. But she was twisting away, further from the beach and into the deeper ocean. I scanned her thoughts and found only fear and desperation to escape.

As I watched, her head whipped back to see if I was in pursuit. Upon seeing me immobile, floating between her and Bella, her scarlet eyes hardened. Then she tipped her head slightly, smiling sickeningly before baring her teeth.

_She will be mine._ A chill of fear went through me. I began to move to restrain her again, even though she hadn't moved. Then, turning, she propelled outward, disappearing beyond the next cliff face in a few moments.

It did not matter, I would find Victoria later, and stop her from ever even thinking about Bella again. Bella! I found myself on the surface and halfway across the rocky beach before realizing what I was doing. I froze, maybe twenty feet from their huddled forms.

Jacob Black's was leaning over Bella, his back facing me. His hands were placed in the middle of her chest and his shoulders were heaving- pressing rhythmically under her ribcage. The pallid skin of Bella's feet looked ghostly, even more so next to his brown skin. I skirted a few more paces, my gaze landing on her face when it came into view. Her eyes were closed and her skin was bone white. She was not breathing.

"No! Bella, no!" I called panicked, unthinkingly.

Jacob's head twitched but he barely acknowledged me in his thoughts- they were swirling in a panic around Bella. So my feet glided closer to where she lay unconscious. I could hear the steady thumping of her heart, easing some of my panic. Jacob shuddered away from me but kept up his rhythm of compressions, trying to clear her lungs of the sea water.

I stood, warring with trying to aid him and with the need to conceal myself in case her eyes opened. He was compressing where her heart was and he needed to move his hands under her diaphragm. Finally, I gave what I could.

"You need to compress lower," I murmured. A shudder ran up Jacob's form and he turned his angry face, wet with tears, towards me for a moment. "This is your fault!" he spat at me viciously in a whisper, so Bella would not hear. He turned back to hover protectively over Bella. But he did then move his hands lower, now doing a proper Heimlich.

"Breathe!" He called, voice wild with anxiety. "Breathe, Bella! C'mon!"

I stood motionless; staring at her inert form. Of course this was my fault. I had let loose a murderess on her, and it had driven her insane. What chance could she ever have at a happy normal life if I kept forcing my world on her?

Suddenly Bella's mouth opened slightly, and she started sputtering out a great volume of seawater. Breathe, I begged desperately in my head, just _breathe._

Then she took in one ragged breath, the sea water having scraped her throat dry.

Oh, Bella. I could have wept and fallen next to her. But I could hear another _voice_-someone was approaching the beach very quickly. Not Victoria, a male.

So instead of crumpling on the rocks I forced my feet to retreat, to cower behind the sparse tree line as another Quileute boy- no, this man looked quite a few years older than Jacob- entered running through the trees at the far end of the beach. He ran quite _quickly_, about the pace of an Olympian in the 400m.

"Bella?" Jacob asked, pulling my thoughts away from the man. Through his thoughts I looked at Bella's face. She had not regained consciousness but her chest was rising and falling slowly. "Bells, honey, can you hear me?"

There was a concerned note in his voice that went beyond simply being considerate. In his thoughts he was almost as relieved as _I _that Bella was alive. I bit back a snarl that threatened to rip out of my throat. Sam, I fished his name out of Jacob's head unwillingly, was speaking.

"How long has she been unconscious?

"I don't know", he said, thinking of his late arrival, and in a gesture that sent a flash of anger coursing through me, he brushed Bella's dark hair away from her face. Those hands should be _mine_. The voice was a snarl in my head.

Stunned, I turned and placed my back against the tree while the two continued talking over Bella. I knew my vampire state had frozen my feelings for Bella. I always knew my feelings for her would never change, but believing I had almost lost her in these last 24 hours had broken something, and intensified everything I felt. I had almost forgotten the feeling of jealousy Mike Newton had caused me with his soliciting of Bella last spring. But here it was again, and one hundred times worse, because with Jacob Black it was stronger- his feelings for Bella were well formed. The boy was in love with her. I struggled to regain my composure. I knew this might happen, but seeing it in action? Much, much worse. I should leave, but one question tugged at me. Did Bella feel for him as well?

"Jake?" I heard Bella say, and in light of my recent discovery, I was so disappointed it was his name she spoke at the edge of consciousness. Through Jacob's thoughts I could see her chocolate eyes flutter open, and he stared into them. My breathing quickened. It was not enough to look at them through his thoughts. I wanted to stare into them myself, and longing choked my throat.

"Oh!" He said, pulled out of his reverie with Sam. "Oh, Bella! Are you okay? Can you hear me? Do you hurt anywhere?"

"J-Just m-my throat" Bella spoke softly, her lips trembling from the cold. She needs to get indoors. Answering my thoughts, Jacob spoke;

"Let's get you out of here."

The temperature was still dropping as menacing clouds rolled in and a misty fog was began to cloak the edges of the deserted beach. Jacob picked up Bella, and with Sam leading, began to leave the beach. Jacob Black spared one glance at where I stood, hidden.

_You better get out of here if you want to stay alive. Come onto Quileute land again and I _will_ kill you. _And as an afterthought, _we're even now._

Then they disappeared over the top of the ridge, with me still standing behind the same tree.

I felt a new wave of shock. How was he aware that I could hear his thoughts? He would know the legends, he had told them to Bella last year, I reasoned with a slight remembered irritation. That must have be what he means by calling us even. One injustice for another. I cross the line and he used it as the punch line for a scary story. He must not believe I was a vampire, otherwise he would not have threatened to kill me. But still troubling.

I was tempted to follow them, extend my injustice a little longer, when I heard them speaking.

"I'll go check on your dad" Sam said with consternation. Ah, an elder in their tribe had just passed away.

"Thanks Sam", Jacob muttered, and I heard the distinguishable creak of Bella's truck door being opened. I began to glide up the cliff side, prepared to follow them, when Sam's perception changed.

His mind now shared four others, and I could easily pinpoint what had happened, even though I had only heard it once over half a century ago.

The werewolf pack was back in La Push.

*****Reviews, plz! Reviews keep me inspired!*****

**~ frostedsaphire**


	4. Surprises

"**Do you know your enemy?**

**Do you know your enemy?**

**Well gotta know the enemy, wah hey"**

**-Greenday**

**Chapter 4 **

**Surprises**

One thing was certain- at this moment I needed to be out of Quiluete territory. Connected to the whereabouts of the pack, I began to take a route leading me around them, still listening.

It was fascinating, even as I was running for my life. The pack's minds were so closely linked that they were almost one, feeling and breathing together. Sam was filling them in on Bella's whereabouts. There were three phased and I feverently hoped that was all in the pack.

_Then Jacob got her to the beach, and was able to revive her, _Sam finished.

_Man, _thought someone else. _Think if he hadn't been there in time…_

I shuddered.

_I know, _thought Sam, _You all know I disapprove of Jacob's attachment to her. But if she had died, the pack would have suffered._

The pack? And then I saw it, the invisible yet solid link connecting Jacob irrevocably to this pack. Before I had time to react more than shock, there was another thought that caught my attention, right on the peripheral of how far I could listen. I strained to hear.

_Yeah, why _do _you not like Bella? _

_I know how damaged she must be, after… that night. _And his head filled with recollections of a dark forest, snuffling through the trees. There was a brown lump on the ground. I felt his horror and my own as he discovered Bella curled on the forest floor, shivering and sopping wet. Disturbing that she wasn't even trying to get home; her tracks were leading towards the Olympian mountains, never once turning back. He had wondered where she was headed, and had speculations to do with me that were right on target.

_It just seemed like a suicide mission to me. I fear that Jacob will never truly find happiness with her._

And then, nothing. I had run outside of the range my special power could reach. Guilt was crushing my chest, constricting against my infallible lungs. I felt my breath hitching, catching, even though nothing was there.

I reached Bella's house, skirting around it, careless. I could tell the werewolves came here often, and they would know who was here- Jacob and Sam knew my scent. Should I leave? Ignoring my already trampled heart's response to this question, I tried to think rationally about the situation, and unexpectedly felt a surge of anger. Why had she done this to me? I remembered telling her clearly not to do anything reckless!

Well, we were even now. I return to Forks and she goes cliff jumping. Yet mine was a reaction to her almost killing herself! Confusion over her motivation, anger and fear for where she was with the _dog_, both warred in my head. Finally, I came to a decision.

I would discover why she flung herself off the cliff. If it weren't for this Jacob, she would not have survived. But the gratitude I felt for the boy was far behind me now. In light of this new revelation, I now had another reason to stay. But as I heard the truck coming down the street I knew my biggest fear was not from threat of werewolves or even Victoria. It was irrational. Does she return his favor? I would stay, just a little longer. I must know.

It was dusk. The truck came idled to a stop beside the curb to Bella's house, with Jacob driving. He cut the engine, and I could hear their breaths. I tried, and failed, not to think of the danger of Bella and a _werewolf _inside that small space. If he phased now…

I knew the what Sam underwent when he phased earlier. Almost angry and out of control as he tore from his skin- I flinched- and into a new form. If Jacob came anything close to that I would intervene. But as I began to evaluate his emotions I immediately knew I didn't want to be in his head. Jacob already had one arm around her, and I could barely stand to see that much. I would leave to escape this torture, if it weren't for the fact that he could turn into a monster at any moment.

They were silent. Bella was facing forward and staring out through the rain like she was trying to decipher something there, almost exactly where I was hidden. I drew deeper behind the leaves concealing me. Jacob pulled her in for a hug, and I held my breath. No, I definitely didn't want her alone with him, for more than one reason. After a long minute he spoke.

"Sorry. I know you don't feel exactly the way I do, Bells. I swear I don't mind."

So she did not return his affections. I felt relief coursing through me, but then he had said _exactly_. How much does she feel for him? I what way? Did I have a right to know?

I cursed myself for asking these questions. Everything I did was despicable, because I knew I had no right to be trespassing back into her life now.

Suddenly I heard her breathing spike, and her heartbeat quickened. From fear? Or from feeling? I couldn't see her face to tell, but they stayed in their locked position. I watched her intently, not sure what I was waiting for. Jacob was waiting too. His hand raised like he was going to stroke her hair when she froze. Recognizing her behavior, he released her and reached across her for her door.

As the outside air blew into the heated cab, I saw Jacob begin to shake. He had recognized my fresh trail. Bella didn't notice, and slid out of the cab.

"Bella?" he said, anxious.

She looked back, her expression puzzled at his tone. "Yes?"

"Just… I'll be watching the house tonight. So you'll be safe from anything not welcome here, OK?" In his thoughts _anything _was directed towards me. I wanted to kill him. How could he decide for her what was or was not welcome here? How could he claim her choice? Yet it was true, and I would find out just how unwelcome I was in a few moments- if I planned on staying.

"Oh, Jake, you know I don't like when you don't sleep," she said, concerned.

"Well, I got plenty of Z's this afternoon," he chuckled, and thought of Bella in his arms on a tiny couch together, making my teeth clench together, and smiled slightly. "So I'll be fine."

She sighed."Night, Jake."

"G'night, Bells." He watched her walk to her front door, locking it behind her. Then he turned slowly, and jogged toward the west end of her lawn.

What could keep Bella safe? My leaving and not interfering with her life here, or my staying? I would have no trouble going to her bedroom window and begging for her forgiveness- how many times had I dreamed of that while I was away? I remembered saying that someday she would be loved, but time had ruined me. I thought time was on my side. But seeing love waiting at her doorstep _today_, even though I was not sure of her own feelings, was unnerving. Of course she would be loved. She was so warm and lovable. I should leave. But I just wanted to wrap my arms around her and let her be safe and be safe and-

"Be safe," I whispered as I sank away from her and into the night. To face Victoria or to get away from Forks? I think I knew the answer, and it didn't lie in Rio de Janeiro.

I was near the north side, and decided I might as well make this easier. I cut northeast towards the river, to meet him and whoever else from the pack he might bring with him at the border.

As soon as Jacob phased, he was huffing it back to La Push.

_Sam. _I heard him call out.

_Jacob, what's wrong? _asked Sam. He was still convening at the cliffs with the other two. They had a plan to ambush Victoria tonight.

_Edward Cullen is back in Forks._

_What? _Sam's voice was sharp, and then _Is he here for Bella?_

_I'm not sure. _Jacob admitted. _He was there when I was saving Bella._

_On our beach? That is a direct violation of the treaty, Jacob. Why didn't you tell me before?_

_I was a little preoccupied, and honestly I hoped he would just check to see she was OK and go away. But tonight- Sam, he was circling her house._

Sam was angry now. _Well, we had better go follow his trail and see what he wants. But if it's Bella I will not allow it._

_Neither will I, _agreed Jacob.

_Embry, Paul, _Sam ordered. _Go keep watch on Bella for a little while. _

_Oh, man! _One of them thought. They wanted to help fight me, because they knew Jacob would most likely end up losing his temper. _C'mon Sam-_

_Do it! _He thought. I heard an interesting authoritative tone when he thought this. If this were a real pack I would have called him the alpha. So he was the alpha, and it seemed his authority over the pack was indeed very similar to how a real pack would operate. _Keep Bella safe. Victoria is still out there and I don't want to take any more chances._

Jacob and Sam faced me off, planting themselves about 30 yards from me. I could tell that Sam was the mediator, but Jacob was the one I spoke to first.

"I'm sorry."

Jacob was confused, but continued with what he had planned to say to me.

_What the hell are you doing here?_

"I came to save her life. My sister, Alice, has visions of the future," I told them reluctantly. I didn't want them to know anything about my family. Sure enough, Sam and Jacob reacted negatively, snarling and crouching lower to the ground. "She saw Bella jump and not resurface. I had no other reason to believe she would not die if I didn't return. I returned to save her life, but it turns out I wasn't necessary. Alice didn't see you rescuing her," I told Jacob. "I don't know why that was?" Confusion entered my tone, and Sam cocked his head.

_Well, now you see she isn't dead, _thought Jacob._ So what keeps you here leach?_

I didn't react to the name. "Victoria," I said simply. "She attacked Bella because of my actions last spring, and I would like the chance to end what I started."

_We have been tracking Victoria around our area for a while, _thought Sam. _Why should we relinquish the perimeter we have at Bella's as well as abandon our plans for you?_

It was a problem. I didn't think of having to deal with wolves as well as Victoria. I could not see the answer.

I tried to think like Carlisle. "Maybe we could work together, for one night. I know you are planning to ambush her tonight. Let me help, and I will not interfere with Bella's life again," I say, pain twisting my expression. I force myself to keep my tone smooth. "Call it a temporary exception to our truce."

"_We don't make exceptions with leaches!"_ Jacob growled.

"_Jacob,"_ Sam warned.

_You have to promise, _Jacob warned. _Promise you will leave and never come back._

"And after Victoria is dead and the last trace of my world is gone from is gone, I believe I will leave."

"_You _believe_?"_ Jacob thought. _"What kind of a promise is that?"_

"I will try. That is all I can offer."

Jacob sighed.

Sam watched my deteriorating composure with a slight compassion. He knew what it was like to leave someone you love. He thought of a dark haired Indian woman. Leah. He loved her, but he was forced to leave her.

"Well, he hasn't done much harm besides push back our border temporarily and as he is planning to leave-"

"Yes. Immediately after she is safe." Safe from Victoria, safe from me. I left myself no loopholes in this agreement. I did not know if I could leave but I would have to try. At this moment I would rather attempt to fight through the whole werewolf pack rather than face the thought of never seeing her again.

_This is all your fault! _Jacob's thoughts echoed in my head, spoken right after Bella's almost successful suicide mission. Was she trying to kill herself because of my absence? Was that what Jacob was saying? But it had been almost half a year, I hadn't come back! She has already moved on, I reasoned bitterly. Time heals all wounds for humans. My wounds, however, felt like they had just been created, my cold heart ripped out of my chest. It anything, the pain had increased over time.

_Then we have an agreement, _Sam thought.


	5. Someday you will be loved

"**You may feel alone when you're falling asleep**

**And every time tears roll down your cheeks**

**But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet:**

**Someday you will be loved.**

**You'll be loved; you'll be loved like you never have known**

**And the memories of me will seem more like bad dreams-**

**Just a series of blurs like I never occurred:**

**Someday you will be loved." **

**-Death Cab for Cutie**

**Chapter 5—**

**Someday you will be loved**

The violet sky was just beginning to fade into black as I ran back to my house. Returning to the house my family abandoned was not a happy prospect, but for the time being I had nowhere else to go. The agreement said the pack would keep the perimeter around Bella's house and I would stay confined to my old house.

At last I broke through the tree line and saw the white building. It looked much the same, besides the dense foliage which had overrun our old yard and most of the gravel driveway.

The wolves had been planning more separated attacks now they were aware of Victoria's true focus; Bella. Tomorrow evening they were going to try again, this time with the tactic of pushing her into the water where I will be waiting. Sam had told me how little power they had of reaching her in the water. I had understood the risks, and told Sam I was prepared anyways.

What had become of Alice? I thought idly. Well, she hadn't come bursting in looking for me, so she must know Bella and I are still OK. Yet how had Jacob been omitted from her vision? Again, I paused to wonder at her lapse in sight.

Perhaps it was a snap decision. Bella was on the course to her own death when Alice called and I smashed my phone. She had no way to contact me when the vision changed- when Jacob Black decided to save her.

I cringed internally. Without Alice's vision there was no reason for me to have come. But now I was here I saw the horror of the wolf pack as well as Victoria. The dark glamour my world had on Bella was more present than ever. It was as though I really was a leach, as Jacob had so crudely intoned upon me. Once latched into the human world of this one girl, my world had sunk it's pincers in deep, not relinquishing its deadly hold until Bella was dead or one of us.

Before I had time to deal with this new revelation, I could hear the engine of an older car approaching the house. Ah, it was Jacob.

_Give him a taste of his own medicine. _Jacob fumed. He was not phased, most likely to avoid the scrutiny and warnings of his omnipresent pack. So he wasn't here to fight, but reason with me. And I knew too well he had reason squarely on his side. Bracing myself I walked outside to meet him.

"I thought you left her!" He yelled, whipping his door shut so the frame bent slightly. _Oh, man! _He thought, hearing it too. Trying to ignore what he had done to his car, he strode forward a few paces, stopping ten feet from me.

And there was that stench again, that seemed to emanate from all the Quileute wolves. I wondered why I hadn't recognized the distinctive sent on Jacob as he was rescuing Bella. And then, despite my resolve to hate Jacob Black, I felt an overwhelming gratitude towards him.

"Jacob," I began softly. "Thank y-"

"No!" He cut across me. "You don't get to say that." He wanted conflict, craved it. I knew what I had to say.

"Thank you for keeping her alive when I.. didn't," I finished. It was true that though the existence of Jacob as a werewolf repulsed me, without him Victoria would have gotten to Bella a long time ago. My voice had cracked on the last word, and hearing the obvious emotion in my voice Jacob became confused again.

"So… I guess you owe me a favor then."

"I suppose," I said with slight amusement. But then I heard the direction of his thoughts. My small smirk went south.

"You know what I want, don't you?" He said, studying me, then continued. "Repay me by leaving her. For good this time. No more checking up on her. I'll keep her safe." His voice turned soft, and it took all I had to keep my composure. His love for her was only a fraction of what I felt, yet I knew it was there.

"I'm not sure I can now. Let me finish," I insisted when Jacob opened his mouth- Jacob's chest was heaving and he began shaking slightly. Calmness was the key. "I can only leave when I'm sure she will have a normal, happy human life."

"She does have a happy life." But his thoughts slipped, and I caught a glimpse of Bella's face in Jacob's memory. Her expression was completely devoid of emotion, lifeless. Like I _had _sucked the life out of her, like I so feared it to be.

Cringing, I recoiled from the image, and Jacob noticed. "Yeah, you like that?" He said slowly, firing up again. "See what you did to her?"

Images flooded my head. Bella hugging her arms around her ribcage, panting and staring fixedly at a corner in what looked like a garage, Bella flinching and turning white whenever Jacob mentioned my family name, a doctor saying the words "possible catatonia" as she stood in Bella's living room, talking to Charlie.

I felt helpless as each memory pierced me like a knife to my heart. Ah, Bella. I could do no right by her.

"That's funny" he said to himself, looking at me with malicious glee. "I've been trying to fix the mess you left behind. It's slow going, but she will be better. I can make her whole again," he insisted.

I wanted to doubt the fire in his eye, but I knew he was probably right. But was I willing to bet Bella's happiness on a probably? She just seemed so broken, by my world and my choices. I might have no choice, and the thought that I might have irrevocably altered Bella's chances of happiness caught my throat with internal revulsion. Leaving… staying… One thing still remained.

"And I am supposed to blindly trust you with Victoria?" I said

"We took down Laurent," he said snidely. I saw in his head the meadow, _our _meadow. And then Bella was there, staring shocked into Jacob's eye before the pack took out Laurent as a unit.

"Bella was there in the clearing?" My voice was flat.

"She had hiked out there when the vampire found her." He said. And I saw a memory of a different day; a compass and the pair of them hiking through the woods to our meadow.

"Why was she alone?"

"That wasn't part of the plan." His voice turned sour. _Becoming a werewolf wasn't part of the plan._

We faintly heard a howl from the East, and both of us looked. _Sam, _Jacob thought.

"I have to leave- pack meeting." He said slowly. I heard the direction of his thoughts and I became excited and wary all at once. "So we need someone to pick up protection detail." I could hear his obvious anger at asking me for this. His words sounded mechanical as he spat them out. "So that would be you." He finished. I connected his robotic words and separate feelings as involuntary. Suddenly I knew he was under orders coming to my house and asking me this favor. What a favor it was, too.

"And this was not your idea."

"No." He said shortly. Another howl- higher, stressed. Without a word Jacob got in his car and began barreling down the drive. Well, as fast as a 1986 Rabbit could drive.

On my way to Bella's, I hunted. Just to be safe. Then reaching the house I began to circle it.

I heard no conscious thoughts in the neighborhood. I knew Jacob wouldn't begrudge me this, but I had to see her. It was odd, I thought as I crossed her yard. I had dreamed- figuratively- about what I would feel if I were ever to see her bedroom window again. And here I was completely spent on emotion.

I scaled the tree outside her window, a strong sense of déjà vu overtaking me. Then, at last, I was in her room.

And there she was, in a room that was tidier than I'd ever seen it. No shoes or clothes strewn across the wooden floorboards. Even her bed was still made, because she now slept in a tight ball in one corner. The moon was just waxing, and iridescent light filtered in through the window, a few rays illuminating her face.

I felt the fire of her blood but now I embraced it and rejoiced. I never thought I would be in her company again. And even with all that happened in the past day, she calmed me. I could now put things into perspective.

We thought the last of the mutant gene died with Ephraim, I mused, staring at the serpentine of Bella's tangled dark hair, strewn across her pillow. What had changed? How was there a whole pack _now, _crusading through La Push like ghosts come back to life?

"Edward," Bella cried, a single crystalline tear rolling down her cheek.

She was having a nightmare, and I was the star.

Something indiscernible, and then a low moan. She brought her hand up to her hair and her arm covered her eyes. But the threads at the bottom of her sleeve darkened, and I realized they were tears.

"Oh no, Bella" I said softly.

I stood paralyzed, bound by my own making and helpless to stop her nightmare. Because even if I woke her up to comfort her now, it would only terrify her further to see the monster in her dreams. Finally, here were the terrors I anticipated all along. Bella had seemed almost dim how far she trusted us- trusted me. And now the veil was taken off: I had shown my true dark side and now I could never have her.

Her breathing hitched and her arm shook, then she threw it off her face. I sat there in agony, at a loss for what to do to stop the tears sliding slowly down her face.

It seemed I was hurting her no matter what I did.

I walked over to her unusually tidy desk and paused at her computer. I don't know why I did it, but I jostled the mouse and her computer hummed on. Feeling guilty- I shouldn't look through her possessions- I reached to turn off her monitor when I caught a glimpse of an e-mail- which really meant that I read the whole e-mail. It was to Alice.

ERROR—MESSAGE NOT RECEIVED—it said at the top. The date and time were from yesterday night, shortly after Jacob had dropped her off at the chief's house.

Alice,

Jake's been here for me when _he _wasn't- but Alice, that part of me isn't present enough to show itself again. Truthfully, I don't know if it'll ever be. Even though he's been telling me I have no right to be blaming myself- still.. I do.

I don't believe it will ever get better. But when you all left me- when _he _left me- I've just been surviving. So shouldn't I try to settle into what scraps are left of my life? Would you- I mean, wouldn't _he_ want that? Surely he wouldn't mind. Anyways, I'll never know.

Love always,

Bella

And there were around fifty more just like it, dating back to the end of last fall.

Bella was conflicted. She was still holding on, writing to Alice. I wish I could only speak to her, but I knew the repercussions of that act. I needed guidance. I needed Alice.

I had to tell Alice we were fine, but I had no way of reaching her. With sudden inspiration, I leaned slightly over Bella's desk and clicked open a new e-mail to the more recent e-mail address Alice had changed hers to when we moved.

Subject: Do not discard

Alice it's me.

There was a fault in your vision yesterday. I cannot understand it, but Bella is fine in the physical sense. I will contact you further when I have more information. For the time being stay where you are. I'll call as soon as I get a new phone.

I clicked send, and suddenly could not hear the deep breaths of Bella anymore. Before I had time to do more than shut off the bright monitor, she awoke with a start, sitting up and turning on her lamp. Everything looked as it should be- I hid in the closet. I could hear the sound of her sleeve wiping her eyes and a sigh as she laid back down.

I had probably woken her with my stunt with the computer. No more mistakes. I slunk out of her window and back into the night.

**No more mistakes… except for the mistake of leaving that message on Bella's computer (hehe) What do you guys think? Will Bella read the e-mail before Edward can delete it? What will she do if she finds out Edward has come back to Forks? It may be time for a B perspective chapter.**

**Oh, Jacob. Can't you see you're just making it worse by showing Edward how sad and miserable Bella was? All he wants is her happiness and you only make it harder for him to leave. ;)**

**One more note: rock on to this community of Twilight lovers. It is so cool how many true fans there are, even after the final book came out ages ago and the movies stopped a short while ago (yet I don't count them in this community). I know the series hasn't left me yet, and I really hope it never will.**

**Have a good one,**

**~frostedsaphire**


	6. Where are you now?

"**And I hear of your comings and your goings in the town**

**I hear stories of your smile; I hear stories of your frown.**

**And the darkness can descend; we can relish all the pain.**

**But I know that's what you love 'cause you know I love the same.**

**Where are you now?**

**Oh, where are you now?**

**Do you ever think of me-**

**In the quiet, in the crowd?"**

**-Mumford and Sons**

**Chapter 6**

**Where are you now?**

**Bella's POV-**

My dreams were full of horrors that night, accompanied by a horrible sinking feeling as I fought off massive waves threatening to pull me under. _He _wasn't in them, and for this I was grateful.

When I woke with a start, the sun was just beginning to rise, but a red point on dark water still swam in my vision. I knew it was Victoria out there. What other color red would stand out so vividly on the black water? Nothing I could think of. The wolves had chased her around towards the cliffs…

I sat up, knowing Jacob or work or school must be waiting for me. I sighed, wondering how I was going to make it through another day. It was Monday- school it was. Pulling my hair out of its messy updo, I pattered lightly across the floor to my computer so as not to wake Charlie. While I waited for it to hum on, I caught sight of my reflection in the computer screen and blanched- my head looked about twice as large, my hair a rat's nest on top of my head. It seems almost drowning didn't help keep my hair under control much.

While I began the hopeless task of sorting out the tangles with my fingers, the monitor flickered to life. I opened up my e-mail to kill some time and send an e-mail to Alice and Reneé.

Writing these letters was an exercise as a way to blow off pent-up emotion- I knew the receiver never got them. But still, every week I wrote to Alice.

ERROR—MESSAGE NOT RECEIVED—

Dear Alice,

I just keep trying to find ways to keep you all alive, but little details keep slipping out of my fallible human mind. You were my present and my future, but now you are only my past.

You've disappeared- like everything else. I feel lost, Alice.

Everything has changed, but there are no more reminders of the lives we once had. I guess that is good, but I'm afraid, Alice.

I'm afraid because the presence of reminders is the only evidence that the past is real. Well that and the pain.

Bella

I sighed as the truncated message came back to my sender inbox.

I opened another message window to type some more bogusly cheerful e-mail for Reneé when a new message popped into my inbox.

From: Alice Cullen

To: Bella Swan

My heart started racing as I stared at the sender's tagline. Could it be?.. I clicked and the e-mail popped open.

Subject: Please DO discard

I can only hope you get this and erase it before Bella wakes up. How am I supposed to contact you when you don't have a phone? Now that I'm looking for her future I don't _see_ anything! I'm worried- and I'm coming to help.

See you _soon_,

-A

My mouth dropped open as I was reading. Alice had sent this to my computer was my first thought. But Alice wasn't writing to me. Who, then? My breath started coming quicker. _"Before Bella wakes up". _Someone was here. In my room. Using my computer to write to Alice. But then there must be a sent e-mail.

I looked, and there was a tab with one e-mail above Alice's. Glancing around me furtively, I quickly clicked open my sent mail and opened the one mail not sent by me.

From: Bella Swan

To: Alice Cullen

Subject: Do not discard

Alice it's me.

There was a fault in your vision yesterday. I cannot understand it, but Bella is fine in the physical sense. I will contact you further when I have more information. For the time being stay where you are. I'll call as soon as I get a new phone.

I sat, staring at the screen in disbelief for nearly half a minute. How was this possible? A soft knock on my door nearly made me jump out of my skin.

"Bella?" It was Charlie.

"Morning, dad."

Silence. "How are you this morning?" His voice was mechanical. Oh, right- Harry's funeral was last night.

"Um, fine," I called, feeling guilty. I had completely forgotten about Harry after Jacob and my unknown visitor. "How are you, dad?"

"Fine, just fine," he said gruffly through the door. "I'm off to work."

"Ok dad. I'll see you after school."

It was time to get up and get ready for school, I thought as I heard the front door close. I went to go shower, but by the time I had gotten in and the hot streams were rushing down my back, my breath was still coming too fast.

Who had been here who knew Alice? There was no signature at the bottom. It couldn't be…? I forced myself not to think of the name. This was dangerous- very dangerous- to think of, to even consider the possibility that he… And before I could stop myself, a new unwanted thought crossed my mind. Holy crow, was he still here in Forks? My heart began jumping out of my chest.

A proper shower was now out of the question. Leaving my hair damp, I threw it in a low bun and hoped the heaters in my truck would help to dry it. It was all I could do to get a sweater on and get in my truck to go to school.

My mind was flying in a million different directions. Almost on auto-pilot, I went through the motions of going to classes. The teachers still mostly wrote me off as a perfect student, so I was free to stare out the window at the sheeting rain and try hard not to think lest I thought of them.

But at lunch time I knew I had to sort of pay attention. Still, I could feel the shaky trust I had been creating with Mike and Angela going out the window as I answered questions a beat late. I was distracted and jumpy. Each time someone spoke to me, I had to ask whoever was speaking to repeat themselves, and so I got the _maybe she is crazy after all _look a lot.

At first, I felt elated. They were back. Or at least two of them. And Alice was coming soon! But my good mood faded by the time gym came around. Because I wasn't supposed to have seen those e-mails. They didn't want me to know about their secret trip to Forks. This knowledge came with a crushing certainty that if they didn't want to visit, I wasn't going to see them. And the only evidence that they were ever here would be those e-mails.

By the time I was pulling into my driveway, I was unsure whether it was all a dream. I threw my keys on the table and sprinted upstairs, taking the steps two at a time.

It was gone. Damn it, it was gone and I forgot to memorize Alice's only working e-mail. I felt hot tears welling up in my eyes. Whatever the hell that had been, I had once again lost my only connection to their world.

I could feel the blackness, more threatening than it had been for a long time. Horrified and looking desperately for something to do, I went downstairs to marinate some steaks for dinner.

That task didn't last me for very long. Soon, I had slid down the cabinets and had my head between my knees.

Ok, time to face my questions. I threw an imaginary bubble over my head and crossed my arms over my chest, just in case.

The main one- why had they come back? I searched, thinking of anything that would have called for this sudden and unexpected visit. Nothing. Next- why was Alice coming to help whoever was already here? What did she mean, she couldn't see my future? That bit scared me. I knew it had to mean something bad. The only reason I could think of for her not seeing my future would be me dying. Well that hadn't happened- yet. But maybe it was supposed to- maybe I was running on borrowed time. That theory sort of made sense, I supposed. That cliff dive was pretty stupid.

Still, I didn't have the answers. Only speculations and two vampires back in Forks.

And I had just opened up a gaping hole in my chest. I started gasping for air.

I was still focusing on just breathing when I heard the cruiser pull into the drive. Charlie was going to walk in any minute. So I got up slowly, trying to arrange a normal expression on my face and hold it there.

The phone rang, and I jumped. I had a feeling I was going to be very on edge until I got some damn answers. I crossed the kitchen and yanked it off the hook.

"Hello?"

"Bella." He sounded relieved.

"Jake?" I asked, my voice coming out small and strangled. "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah. I just called to say you can stay at your place today, Sam's got us running double shifts, so I reckon it'll be pretty boring around here."

"Ok. Listen, Jake…" I trailed off. Did I want Jacob to know that two vampires were back in Forks? Well, on top of the one vampire already here. I froze, a new thought running through my head.

"What is it, Bella?" His voice was sharp, cutting through my reverie. He sounded suspicious and alert for some reason. Charlie came in, setting his gun belt down on the counter.

"Hang on," I said distractedly.

I knew exactly what had brought the two Cullens back. They found out about Victoria. Well, crap.

"You're making me nervous. What is it?" He demanded.

Should I tell Jacob? As a member of the pack, he probably needed to know. But as my friend? I knew I didn't want him to be hurt, especially if there was a way to avoid it.

So I just said "umm.. nothing. I was just thinking about yesterday. That was really stupid, wasn't it?"

"Majorly brainless," he agreed, chuckling. "I thought…"

It seemed we both had information we were hiding from the other. "What is it? Is it Victoria?"

"Huh? Oh… yeah. That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. The reason why you don't need to come down to La Push is that Paul is catching."

"What?" I said, baffled.

"Yeah, remember the day he learned you were what the red-head wants?" He asked.

"Didn't he say something like it was great we had bait?"

"Right," Jacob said shortly. "Well, Sam's starting to like the idea. He says we are going to use your place as sort of an anchor. See," He said, his voice sounding more angry and strained by the second, "your house is the one place she is sure to check if we leave a hole."

"Ok," I said nervously.

"Don't worry, it's only a ruse. We're gonna make sure you're safe. But it might be best to stay inside for the next few hours, ok?"

"Ok. Please be careful," I said, not being able to stand the thought of something happening to Jacob.

"Sure, sure," Jacob said easily.

After he hung up, I went and put the steaks on the grill. Then later, I sampled and sat on the counter, listening to the very normal sounds of the Mariners game blaring out of the TV.

What a day. What a glorious, terrifying day. I knew I had no sane reason to be happy, but maybe I wasn't sane. Because I had a huge grin on my face as I set Charlie's dinner on the table.

The pain could wait. I felt a glowing, warming my whole body and I grasped onto it, holding the impossible dream close.

That Edward Cullen had come back to Forks for me.

**I finally decided I need to have fun while writing this story, especially since I am writing under a pseudonym. So I'm just going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may. ;) Wow I am such a twihard. Besides the point.**

**I really enjoyed writing for Bella because let's face it- she speeds things up a bit. Edward thinks through absolutely **_**everything, **_**and while that adds depth to the story it does considerably lengthen the time frame (5 chapters for one afternoon and evening? With all fairness, they do cover the most pivotal moment in his life. But really, Edward? :)**

**What do you guys think? Is it believable? Because if we are really going to explore this alternate ending, I need some constructive criticism to do it.**

**Reviews!**

**xoxo**

**~frostedsaphire **


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